laughter is the best medicine

this book of "seriously misguided facts-according to school kids" has proven to be quite the antidote to a long day's work. 

some quotes for you: 

"a skeleton is a man with his inside out and his outside off."

"a spinster is a bachelor's wife."

"a polygon is a dead parrot."

"a polygon with seven sides is called a hooligan."


"the masculine of vixen is vicar."

"celibacy is the crime a priest commits when he marries."

"they gave william iv a lovely funeral.  it took six men to carry the beer."


"john the baptist was a centaur which means he was half a man and half a horse.  it says his head was on a charger."

"an injection is a shout or scream raised by a person too surprised or frightened to make a sentence with his thoughts.  it is not quite a human language.  the lower animals say nothing else but injections.  accordingly ill-natured and cross people by their injections come very near to beasts."

"figurative language is when you mean a rooster and say a chandelier."